Light to my World
by April952
Summary: Protecting his Mate is his top priority. Nothing should get in the way of that. Nothing was more important than Ritsu. But what if his Mate asked him to stay behind? What should he do? His love is now divided, Rescue his Mate or leave his children behind? Sequel to 'My Vampire'
1. New start

_This world is a strange one._

_Everything you choose to believe doesn't matter._

_Everything you've thought dreams were is only an illusion._

_Everything you hold sacred and dear will destroy you. _

_Lately, I've been thinking like this. Been questioning what isn't supposed to be questioned and looked at the world with bitter hate._

_I hide it from the person I love but…_

_But then I start to wonder when I would stop caring about such things._

_My memories are choking me. Killing me. Taking me into a darkness that, surprisingly enough, I am not afraid of. _

_I thought I could control them. I thought I was strong enough to hold them back. _

_I was ignorant._

_Death seemed like an easy welcome. _

"Stop!"

_I often wonder to myself; why me? Why was I chosen for this life? Why would my parents leave me like this? Without telling me who I am or what I am. _

"Stop! Halt!"

_Why is fate so cruel to those who done nothing wrong?_

Ritsu yelped as someone bumped into him, halting his odd thoughts. He was completely unprepared for as he fell face first onto the cold cobble stone road.

Ritsu groaned. What happened? He lifted his head up to see a crowd of people staring at him in concern. Ritsu smiled at them in reassurance as he tried to get up but something, or someone, was on his legs.

Ritsu looked behind him to see a figure in a long black designer cape on their hands and knees; the head was downcast to the ground so he couldn't see their face since the hood covered everything. This brought a sense of Déjà vu to when he first met his love.

Ritsu twisted his body around so that he was sitting on the ground facing the person. Was this a woman perhaps? The person before him was small in figure and their hands, which were the only skin he could see under the large cape, were pale and delicate. She wore dark blue jeans, black boots, and he thought he saw a hint of blond hair under the hood.

In English Ritsu asked with hesitation. "Um…Are you alright?" What was this woman doing with a cloak like that in the middle of the day? It made her look suspicious.

Though, he shouldn't judge her on that score since he was dressed almost the same way. He wore his long green sweater and black jeans with brown boots, he had his hoodie on so he wasn't recognized by the media.

Ritsu smiled sheepishly at the woman and held out a hand to help her up.

The woman tensed her body in fright. She looked like she was trying to stand on her own but was too weak.

People around them started to gossip. He heard bits of pieces of 'what's going on?', 'who is that person?' and 'what's up with that woman?' Ritsu looked around to see people starting to surround them. They were curious, Humans were always curious.

He was currently in London walking around the streets aimlessly before the woman bumped into him. He was next to The Elizabeth Tower, which was next to the Big Ben. He had hoped to clear his mind with the fresh air but that didn't help much.

"Stop fiend!"

Ritsu looked over the woman's head to see people were being thrust aside as men ran in their direction. They looked to be policemen. Ritsu frowned. Were they chasing this woman? Why? What has she done?

Ritsu could sense the woman's fear; she leaned back slowly into a sitting position, her shaking hands cupping her stomach.

Ritsu's eyes widened at the slight bump. She was pregnant!?

The men were almost upon them and Ritsu had to quickly choose; help the woman or let the men take her away to God knows were.

Ritsu cursed, he couldn't let them take her. He didn't know why but his instincts screamed at him to save her, as if she were innocent of any crimes these men accuse her of.

Decision made, Ritsu carefully picked up the woman bridal style and ran in the other direction.

The woman didn't say anything, she simply held on to Ritsu tightly, putting all her trust in him. She curled in his arms in order to protect her stomach as much as possible which was smart since there were so much people gathered around the street. He could accidently trip and fall.

Ritsu concentrated on where he could hide her until whoever it was that was looking for her was gone. Luckily he knew London pretty well since he often came here to visit his Grandfather. He knew there was an ally just around the corner at the end of The Elizabeth Tower building. That was his only chance since there was no there other hiding places within fifty feet of this area.

Ritsu tuned the corner and ran as fast as he could. His hands were shaking a bit since he never done anything like this in his whole life. Usually he minded his own business in matters like these but something about this woman was different. He didn't really understand it himself. He just had the strongest urge to protect her.

He tuned his head back just before he entered the ally to see if the men spotted them yet. Thankfully luck was on their side as the men barely turned the corner. They might be safe for a few seconds but the rest of London was open so he had to think fast if he wanted to lose the men.

He put the woman down and tried to grab her cloak but she shrieked back in fear.

Ritsu instantly put his hand up in the air to show her that he meant no harm. "Ah, no. I won't hurt you." Ritsu tried to reassure her with a smile. "I just thought of an idea."

The woman didn't move as she took in his words. He understood her predicament, who would trust a stranger?

"Where? What do you mean you lost…?"

Both of them froze when they heard the voices coming toward them.

The woman quickly nodded her head, giving Ritsu permission to do what he wished. Ritsu reached up and took the hood off. What lay underneath the cloth stunned Ritsu speechless.

Eyes as blue as a shining Diamonds seemed to pierce his very soul, she had short blond hair, sharp cheek bones, and rosy lips.

Ritsu blinked in amazement. She was beyond beautiful. An Angel even.

The woman cocked an eyebrow, snapping Ritsu back to reality. "Ah, sorry." He took the cloak and hid it in the darkest corner of the ally. He then took off his own green jacket and wrapped it around her.

"Wrap your arms around me." Ritsu whispered.

The woman's eyes widened.

Ritsu couldn't stop the blush appearing on his cheeks. "T-that's not what I mean!"

Both of them tensed as the voices were right on top of them.

The woman wrapped her arms around his neck, Ritsu leaned down. "Cock your head so it looks like were kissing." Ritsu whispered.

The woman nodded and did just that.

A few seconds later…

"Hey!"

Ritsu couldn't help but tense roughly. He was about to step back to look at the man out of habit but the woman brought him closer, their bodies pressed against each other. Ritsu's blush intensified.

He heard a crude grunt from the man behind him. "Get a damn room! Damn Americans." He muttered the last.

Both didn't move a muscle until the man was long gone.

Ritsu sagged in relief. "That was close."

The woman merely nodded.

Ritsu turned to where the man stood a few seconds ago and wondered out loud, "Why were they chasing you?"

"…You don't have to worry about that…In fact….you won't remember a thing after this..."

Ritsu turned to the woman with confusion. This voice…it didn't belong to the woman-

The woman grabbed his collar with surprising strength and pulled him down toward her.

Ritsu saw a flash of fangs before the woman dug them in to his neck.

And started sucking out his blood.

**Most of you guys already guessed what this is XD**

**Sequel to My Vampire! **

**Now for the big question: I was planning on making this an M-preg…XD It won't be like any other M-preg I'll try to make this as realistic as I can. I know most people don't like M-preg but hear me out!**

**There's this one Manga called Jappa no Amane. I want it similar but a bit different. I'm still trying to think about the details. So please give it a chance. (I'm asking cause I want to see Shou kill Takano XD lmao!) Basically I'm going to make Ritsu's gift a curse. :DDDDDD**

**So what do you think? If yes (YAY!) If not (AWWWW) don't worry I'm already planning on making a separate story of M-preg but it won't be supernatural. **

**So yeah…**

**Oh and I'm stuck on finals…that's why I haven't been updating…sorry ;.; Damn school! **

**Hoped you enjoyed! Tell me what you think! Much love!**


	2. Saki

_**This is…odd…**_

Ritsu held still as the woman took her fill. He could sense her sharp hunger, was considered dangerous among Humans since she could accidently drain someone in her state. Ritsu knew she needed blood desperately especially since she was pregnant. She could easily lose her baby if she didn't feed enough.

Ritsu lifted his hands onto her shoulders as she swayed slightly. Was she alright? He didn't know if he had enough blood to sustain her and himself. He'd been neglecting his diet lately; it's been two days since he'd gone without blood and already his head was spinning.

Ritsu tensed when the woman moaned. Now he was uncomfortable. No one but Masamune had ever taken his blood before and he didn't know how he felt about this. How would Masamune react when he finds out that someone else took his blood?

Ritsu paled. Masamune was very possessive of him; he wouldn't be surprised if he threatened to kill this woman for even touching him.

Ritsu blew out a breath to calm his thoughts. Masamune wasn't here right now; he was actually avoiding him at the moment. It's been a week since he last saw Masamune and he wasn't planning on seeing him for another month or so.

For the past few days Ritsu felt like he was suffocating, the memories becoming too much for him to handle. Being around Masamune for some reason only worsens the memories.

Ritsu left before Masamune noticed the way he acted around him. He didn't want Masamune to suffer because of him. He'd rather deal with everything himself than put any type of burden on Masamune.

Ritsu grew dizzy, she was taking too much blood and at this point if he were human she would have killed him by now.

Ritsu tapped her shoulder hesitantly. "Um…You're taking too much…you need to stop."

The woman jerked away from him in surprise, a trail of blood tickling down her chin, and her blue eyes were sharp.

Ritsu swayed a bit but managed to stay standing. He smiled sheepishly at her. "How are you doing now?" Ritsu rubbed at the mark she left, he could feel a bruise forming. She wasn't careful with the feeding, she took his neck savagely indicating how starved she was.

"How…?" She jumped away from him while wiping the blood dripping down her chin. "You're supposed to be knocked out by now."

Ritsu frowned at the voice. At first he thought her voice was just raspy from the hunger but now…

"Um…I'm a Vampire too. See?" Ritsu showed her his own fangs. The woman covered her mouth in horror. Ritsu held up his hands quickly to show her he wouldn't harm her in anyway. "Ah, no. I mean no harm! But…um-"

The woman growled low in her throat, her eyes glowing black with rage. "You're one of them!" Suddenly she tackled him to the ground, a knife at his throat. "You can't trick me!" She hissed.

Ritsu's eyes widened at her speed. He didn't even see her coming. "No wait!" Panicked, Ritsu shifted a few feet away from her, his hand going to his throat. Where did she pull out that knife from? And how was she so fast?

The woman fell to his knees with a gasped. "You…can shift?" She frowned. "Wait, how did you shift without taking me with you? I was right on top of you!"

Ritsu didn't answer her; instead he took a few steps back. It wasn't wise to stay with this woman. She could kill him at any moment. Ritsu glanced behind him to the entrance of the ally, just a few more steps and he'd be safe...away from her...never to see her again...

Ritsu frowned at the ache in his chest. Why? She tried to kill him and here he was feeling remorse for the woman? He tried to move but his feet wouldn't cooperate. Was he finally going insane?

He couldn't bring himself to leave her. His senses were still screaming at him to protect her…but why? He didn't understand this.

The woman noticed his small retreat and cried out, "Wait please!"

Ritsu hesitated. What was she up to now? Why was she pleading with him all of a sudden?

The woman stood up gracefully. "I'm…sorry…I thought..." She shakes her head hard as if trying to rein in her thoughts. "I'm sorry." She looks to the knife in her hand with surprise. "When did I...?"

She didn't remember taking the knife out? Really!? Then she was even more dangerous if she relied on instinct than thought. This should have given him the excuse to leave but his feet would not move. It was as if his body wanted to stay with this woman...but why? What caused him to act this way.

"I'm sorry." The woman tried to apologize to him.

Ritsu frowned at the voice again. It was not...a woman's voice. It was hard and raspy, more like a man's. Ritsu blushed in guilt. Not that he should judge her upon her voice! Hundreds of people were different, that's what made them unique and...

And...

Ritsu's eyes widened at what the woman did next.

She pulls down her shirt from the collar to where a holster was strapped around her chest. She sheaths the knife then turns her attention to Ritsu.

Ritsu's mouth was hanging open in shock, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Wait…what!?

The woman frowned in confusion. "What are you gawking about?"

Ritsu pointed at her. "You're a man!?" When the woman pulled down her shirt it reviled...a flat chest. A male's chest. How could he not have seen it sooner? His voice was obviously male!

The man blinked in surprise. "Of course I'm a man! You thought I was a woman!?"

Ritsu blushed. "I'm sorry! But you looked-"

The man stopped his words with a raise of his hand. "I know, I know. Ugh, never mind." He shook his head hard. "I can't believe this…First him and now..." He sighed. "Whatever."

Ritsu studied the man with new eyes. Though...there was nothing different to see. He did look like a woman; the only indication that he is male was his short hair, voice, and flat chest. But how is it that he's a man? Isn't he pregnant?

Ritsu looked to the slight bump with shock. Wait…he was pregnant? Ritsu knit his brows. No…it couldn't be…He was just imagining things...

The man noticed his stare and demanded. "What the hell are you looking at!?"

Ritsu pointed to his stomach, his shock clear in his voice. "You're pregnant?"

The man blushed madly. "It's none of your damn business! It's rude to point by the way."

Blushing himself, Ritsu dropped his hand to his side and wondered out loud, "Can Vampire males get pregnant?"

The man's blush intensified until even the tips of his ears were red. "Of course not! Only I can-Wait I don't have to explain anything to you!" The man crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Ha!? But-"

The man shook his head again. "I'm not answering you! Now look…can you please take me to Paris? I don't have much time."

Ritsu frowned with suspicion at the change of topic. "Why were those men chasing you?" He needed to know why if he was going to get involved. He didn't want to get in trouble with his Grandfather about this later on. The fact that he was a Vampire running from the law meant that Suoh's warriors should be on this in a few minutes and he didn't want to be caught helping a criminal.

"The less you know the safer you'll be." He took a step closer to Ritsu. "Please, I need to get to Paris. I have someone there waiting for me." The man took another step towards him.

Ritsu looked skeptical. "Who?"

"My Mate. I need to meet him at the Fountain of Warsaw. Do you know where that is?"

Ritsu nodded his head slowly. It was a mile away from the famous Elfin Tower in Paris.

The man gasped in joy. "Please take me there! I need to know if he's alright. I need to see that he's alive!" The man grabbed his forearm and squeezed. "I just...need to see him." The man's whole body started to shake with anticipation.

Ritsu could see the desperation and fear in his eyes. This was not some actor playing him into trying to outrun the law, he saw the emotions as clearly as the rising sun and Ritsu was compelled to help him.

"Alright." Ritsu agreed reluctantly. He pulled out his phone to check the time. Luckily his Grandfather was out on meetings this eve and wouldn't be free in another few hours. He shouldn't be gone long, Ritsu concluded. All he had to do was take this man to Paris and leave before Suoh notices his absence.

The man's face brightened. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He hugged Ritsu tightly causing him to lose his breath. Where did all this strength come from? "I don't know how to repay you!"

"Ah, no need." Ritsu gasped out.

The man smiled and let go. Ritsu gasped out a breath. "My name is Saki by the way."

Ritsu smiled warmly. "Ritsu." Ritsu grabbed Saki by the arm and shifted him to the Fountain of Warsaw. The fountain was beautiful, it stretched out for half a mile, there were at least thirty-two sprays of water shooting up four meters in the air, and in the distance Ritsu could see the Elfin Tower.

Ritsu looked around to see it the place half deserted. Luckily they came at the time where not much people were out and about. They stood at the beginning of the fountain behind them was the Palais de chaillot.

Ritsu turned to Saki. "You said your Mate was going to wait for you here?"

Saki nodded. "Yes…" He looked around as people went about their day, his expression going sad. "But I don't see him..."

Ritsu looked around himself, "Um... how does he look like?"

"He has silky black hair, beautiful grey eyes, he's three inches taller than you, and he stands out in a crowd. You'll know him when you see him."

Ritsu blinked at this. "Oh, really?"

Saki nodded. "He looks like a super model." He shrugged. "Can't miss him."

"Oh, I see..." Well that wasn't so hard then. Saki himself stood out too much with his beauty. Already, people around them started to notice them and openly stared.

Uncomfortable, Ritsu turned his attention to the sky. It was past noon, he should have been walking back home by now. Should he leave?

Ritsu glanced at Saki's fearful face. He had his hands on his heart, his knuckles clenched hard. He knew he couldnt leave him alone, what if something bad happened to him while he was gone?

But as the hours pass without a sign of Kiyoshi, Ritsu was getting concerned for the time. The sun was going down and Suoh should be wondering where he was right about now. How much longer was this Kiyoshi going to take? Was he even coming?

Ritsu turned to Saki and was started to see that tears had misted in his eyes. "Where is he?" He whispered. "He promised me he would be here..."

Ritsu tried to comfort him as best as he could. "Ah, he must be late! That's all."

Saki turned to him; a horrified expression crossed his face. "But…what if they caught him? What if-" Saki covered his mouth to hold in a sob. "I miss him so much."

"Ah, he-he'll come! I'll stay with you until then." Ritsu smiled encouragingly.

Saki looked at him with confusion, his mood suddenly changed. "Why would you do this for a stranger? You could have gotten killed because of me." Angry, Saki yelled. "Why did you help me in the first place?"

Ritsu blinked at this. "It's just the way I am. I can't just walk away from someone who needs my help." No matter what, Ritsu was raised as a priest. He couldn't abandon people if they needed his help.

Saki scoffed. "That would get you killed you fool!"

Ritsu winced. He never thought about his own safety, only hers.

Saki sighed, her mood changing once again. "Well…thank you anyway."

"Um, no problem?" His uncertainty made his comment a question. Was Saki alright? What happened there?

As if reading his mind Saki grunted, suddenly tired. "I'm just really stressed out and I'm taking it out on you. I'm sorry. I'm really grateful that you helped me. Most people would just ignore me." His eyes went glassy at this, as if remembering a bleak memory.

"It's no problem, really. I'm just glad to help."

Saki smiled. "There are not much people out there like you. Kind-hearted and caring." Saki looked at the fountain. "So much hate and destruction in this world."

Ritsu didn't know what to say to this. Instead he stayed quiet as more hours passed by. He couldn't stay out much longer. He wouldn't be surprised if Suoh had already called out a search party for him.

Ritsu blinked his eyes a couple of times as black dots appeard in his vision. This was not good. Saki took a lot of blood from him earlier and even though its been two years since he'd been a Vampire he was still sensitive to the hunger.

"Um...do you know if he lives anywhere around here?" Ritsu asked. Maybe he could take him there instead. He really had to go, he didnt want to make his Grandfather worry.

Saki shook his head. "He said that he'll meet me here. That's it."

"I-I see." Then what was he going to do? He couldn't wait here forever. What if he took Saki with him? They could come back tomorrow and try again. Bottom line was it wasn't wise to make Suoh worried. The last time he stayed out too long he was lectured for days.

Ritsu winced at the memory.

He turned to Saki to inform him of the new plan when a voice called out, "Saki?"

Both Ritsu and Saki turned sharply toward the Palais de chaillot. The first thought that ran thought Ritsu head was 'wow'. This was Kiyoshi? Kiyoshi had sleek black hair, piercing grey eyes, his built was lean with muscle, and he was at least four inches taller than Ritsu.

Saki yelled out with relief. He ran to Kiyoshi and hugged him tightly. "Kiyoshi!"

Kiyoshi held Saki tightly. "Thank God you're alright! I thought I lost you." His voice came out raspy with unshed tears.

Ritsu looked away from the couple. He felt like he was intruding on their moment. Maybe he should leave now?

Kiyoshi suddenly growled causing Ritsu to look at him quickly.

"Kiyoshi wait!" Saki cried out.

Kiyoshi was crouched to attack him. Ritsu took a step back, his mind already thinking about the mansion and his body ready to shift.

Saki grabbed on to Kiyoshi's forearms preventing him from jumping on Ritsu. Ritsu didn't know how Saki managed to hold Kiyoshi back but he did. "This is Ritsu. He shifted me here!"

Kiyoshi instantly calmed down at the bit of information. "He did?"

Saki nodded with a smile. "He saved me. I was still in London."

Kiyoshi gasped. "Still in London? That was three days ago!" Kiyoshi went back to hold Saki in his arms, his worried gaze running over his Mate's face.

Saki nodded. "There were guards everywhere. I couldn't escape them."

Kiyoshi hugged Saki to him. "I'm so sorry. I should have stayed with you." He kissed the top of Saki's head.

Saki smiled. "You didn't know."

Kiyoshi shook his head. His voice tortured. "That's no excuse. I should have stayed with you." Kiyoshi leans down to kiss Saki.

Ritsu looked away with a slight blush. He really needed to leave and give these two some privacy, he felt like he was invading their space.

"Ritsu." Ritsu looked to Kiyoshi and Saki who were now facing him. Kiyoshi bowed. "Thank you for saving my Mate."

"Ah, No need to do that!" Ritsu fretted, a little embarrassed. "It was no problem."

Saki went toward Ritsu and grabbed his hands. "Thank you Ritsu. I owe you my life."

Ritsu shook his head. "Like I said, it was nothing." He knew his face was burning red, he wasnt used to compliments much.

"Still, I owe you much." he smiled. "And I'm sorry for this."

Ritsu frowned. "For what?"

"This-"

The next thing he knew Saki pushed him in the fountain.

His back hit the water unexpectedly and liquid rushed in his lungs. Ritsu kicked out and resurfaced with harsh coughs. His throat burned, and his vision hurt. he wiped his eyes to see Saki and Kiyoshi gone.

Ritsu huffed. Was that really necessary? They could have asked him to leave! Why push him in the fountain?

Ritsu swam to the edge and got out.

He sighed. Well, as long as Saki and Kiyoshi were back together then that was all that mattered. Ritsu smiled. He was glad to help them both. They looked so in love with each other.

Ritsu took in his surroundings, hoping no one saw him as he shifted in front of his Grandfathers Mansion. Ritsu swayed a little as the shifting took the rest of his strength. He needed blood fast.

A few of the guards were spooked to seeing him suddenly shift in but relaxed when they realized it was only Ritsu. They bowed a second later.

Blushing, Ritsu waved to them and went in.

Suoh's trusted butler, Sebastian, came running toward him when he noticed he was soaking wet. "Ritsu-sama! Where have you been? And why are you all wet?"

Ritsu smiled at Sebastian. "It's a long story." Ritsu walked in the mansion with Sebastian walking behind him. He motioned for a maid to bring him a towel.

Ritsu shook his head, water falling onto the marble floor. How was he going to explain this? He was clumsy and fell? He wasn't paying attention to where he was going? Ritsu groaned. There was no way he was going to get away with it. He was a terrible liar.

"Here, Ritsu-sama," Sebastian handed him a towel.

Ritsu smiled. "Thank you." He took the towel and started to dry his hair. "Has my Grandfather finished with his meeting?"

"No. It seems the meeting was extended over an issue and would be out in a couple more hours."

"Ah, I see. What about Ryuki?"

"They called saying they would be home in an hour."

Ritsu smiled. "That's great. Let me go change-"

"Ah, we have some visitors." Sebastian stopped him.

Ritsu frowned. "Visitors? Are they for my Grandfather?"

"No, they are for you, Ritsu-sama."

Ritsu blinked. "For me?" He didnt know anyone here in London. Why would they ask for him?

"Family." Sebastian stated simply.

"Family? Who?"

"You haven't met them yet Ritsu-sama. They are very eager to meet you."

Ritsu frowned. He thought he'd already met all his family. "...Alright. Let me just change-"

Sebastian stopped him again. "They need to see you now. It's an urgent matter they need to discuss with you."

"Ha!? But I'm soaking wet!"

Sebastian took his arm and led him to the drawing room.

"Sebastian?" Why was he acting strangely? Sebastian reached for the door handle to the drawing room. "Sebastian! Wait! I need to-"

Sebastian opened the door to see Masamune and Chiaki sitting down on the couch waiting for them.

Ritsu froze, his heart skipping a beat. Masamune looked tired, there were bags under his eyes and his face looked wary. Ritsu's heart ached at the sight. He missed him so much...

As soon as his eyes met Masamune's possessive ones Ritsu turned around sharply and tried to run.

Masamune easily appeared in front of Ritsu and hauled him over his shoulder.

Ritsu gasped. "Masamune!"

Masamune turned to Sebastian. "I'll be taking him now."

Sebastian bowed. "Very well my Lord."

"Wait! Sebastian!" How could he do this to him? He knew how much Suoh hated Masamune! Why go against Suoh?

"Forgive me Ritsu-sama but you've been depressed since you came to us." He bowed. "This is for the best."

Ritsu fisted the back of Takano's leather sweater. What was he going to do now? He didn't want to face Takano yet! He wasn't ready! Ritsu tried to shift but he was too weak from blood loss.

Chiaki came to them and shifted.

* * *

**Ok so I messed up, I meant Suoh, Ritsu's grandfather, not Shou. Lmao. Suoh is going to kill Takano once he finds out about Ritsu being pregnant. XD I'm going to get mixed up with those two aren't I?**

**Now, let me explain on my M-preg: There will be a black mark on Ritsu's stomach and through that mark it will grow over the months, the stomach will grow also but only a slight bump, that's it!**

**Now the mark is where the baby will come out as Ritsu goes into labor. There would be no opening the stomach or having the baby like a woman would. **

**What do you think? I hope this is better! PM me if you have any questions.**

**Thank you for the amazing reviews! There was not one review that didn't make me smile or laugh. Also thank you to those who wished me luck on my Finals! I'm done! I wish luck on yours!**


	3. Hello again, Darkness

**Sorry this was a bit late. Again my family bombarded me cause of my B-day XD I'll upload more tomorrow. Love you all! Also missed you!**

**much love!**

* * *

Ritsu opened his eyes to a familiar room. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, stairs leading up to a balcony and a library, a grand window showcasing Tokyo, and an adjoining room to Takano's bedroom. They were in the tower once again. It's been two years since he'd been here. He was surprised everything was still intact.

Ritsu turned his head slightly to the left and saw that the hole in the ground he did two years ago was still there. Ritsu blushed. He had thought that Masamune would have fixed that by now. Why was it still there?

A sharp memory invaded his mind; he was going insane, his mind in shatters. Feelings of loss and helplessness attacked him. He was so mad that day, so anguished that he lost control.

And so he attacked.

Ritsu shook his head hard; he forced the memory to the darkest corner of his mind. He didn't know what was real and what were memories. Both clashed with each other until they merged.

Dull eyes stared at nothing. **How much more of this can I take before I completely lose to insanity?**

Ritsu let out a cute squeak as Masamune turned to Chiaki sharply. "Leave." His tone was sharp and commanding making Ritsu cringe.

Chiaki gave a pity glance to Ritsu before shifting. Ritsu gulped, his claws curling around Masamune's leather jacket. He didn't want to be alone with Masamune! He had to get away! But how? He was too weak from blood loss; he couldn't shift or had the strength to run away.

Masamune wasted no time as he marched to his bedroom and threw Ritsu on the bed. In midair, Ritsu closed his eyes while letting out a faint scream and the bed shook a bit when he landed on the bed.

Masamune crossed his arms, his expression emotionless. "Explain."

Ritsu ducked his head in shame. He couldn't bare to look into Masamune eyes. Every time he did he knew he would only give in. And that's something he couldn't do. He had to be strong and do this alone.

"Ritsu. Explain. Now."

Ritsu flinched at Masamune hard tone but didn't say a word. Ritsu glanced at the door behind Masamune and wondered how he could get past. He couldn't stay, he would only hurt Masamune.

Masamune sighed. "Stubborn." He muttered under his breath.

Ritsu's eyes widened as Masamune climbed in bed with him, his movements sleek and powerful. Ritsu tried to make a run for it but Masamune easily grabbed his arms and pinned him down on the bed. Masamune straddled him making movement impossible.

Ritsu shut his eyes as the memories started to hammer him. Why was this happening to him? Why with Masamune? His Masamune?

"Ritsu...look at me." Masamune pleaded.

Ritsu didn't listen. Instead he tried his hardest to control the memories, to not let a whimper escape his lips and alert Masamune of his pain.

"Ritsu...please?"

Ritsu didn't respond causing another depressing sigh from Masamune.

"Ritsu...Why are you doing this? Do...Do you not love me anymore?" His voice sounded so sad, so anguished.

Ritsu stiffen. No! It wasn't that he didn't love him! It was just that he didn't want to hurt Masamune! What if he learns that his mind was breaking everyday because of him? Or that just looking at his beautiful golden eyes made him cringe in pain?

Without opening his eyes, Ritsu leaned up to bury his face in the crook of Masamune's neck, hoping that he would hear Ritsu's silent answer through that. Ritsu breathed in deeply. How much he missed his scent! It was a torturous hell staying away from Masamune. He didn't know how he lasted so long without him.

Masamune leaned back so that he was on his knees holding a sitting Ritsu close to his chest. "Ritsu...you're going to leave me again aren't you?"

Ritsu tensed at the pained filled voice that whispered in his ear, along with it came the painful memories. He had to leave. He had no choice.

Ritsu inwardly winced. The memories were getting harder to control. This time he was reliving hurting Misaki.

How he threw him out a window.

Ritsu shuddered.

"Ritsu look at me love."

Masamune tried to pull back so he could look at Ritsu face but Ritsu clutched his shirt and buried his face deeper in Masamune's neck. Ritsu started to shake and Masamune was dreading the fact that Ritsu might cry. Masamune tried to gently push Ritsu away but Ritsu was strong. He held firm.

Masamune paused and studied the situation. It was obvious that Ritsu was not going to say anything so...

Why push? He finally had Ritsu in his arms after one hellish week alone. He should be smart and hold him tightly in his arms, to savor every second in his presence.

**Before he attempts to leave me again.**

Masamune leaned down to nibble on Ritsu's neck. Ritsu stiffened, his body coming closer to his with need.

Smiling softly, Masamune sank his teeth slowly into Ritsu's neck causing a shudder in Masamune at the sweet contact. Nothing was as addicting as Ritsu's blood.

Instantly Ritsu started to moan, his hands boldly going down to rake his hands under his shirt. His soft hands caressed Masamune's hard abs. Masamune took a few sips of blood before releasing him to lock his lips with Ritsu's parted ones.

Ritsu gasped. "M-Masamune...wait."

Masamune didn't listen. He leaned forward so that Ritsu lay back on the bed and crashed his lips onto Ritsu's. Ritsu tried to turn his head away but Masamune wouldn't have that. He started planting soft kisses onto his neck; his hot breath caressing Ritsu's neck causing a shiver of delight to run down his spine. With each kiss Ritsu could feel himself get weaker, his resolve wavering.

Ritsu let out a moan, his struggles completely gone, not that there was much to begin with. Masamune took his chance and crashed his lips down onto Ritsu's.

Masamune rested his whole body on Ritsu's, the pressure of Masamune's body felt so good on him. Ritsu drew his hands to caress down Masamune's back, muscle twitched at his touch, his heat burning his blood.

Masamune rotated his hips, his hardness rubbing along Ritsu's. Ritsu gasped. "Masamune!"

Masamune chuckled. "What is it? You want more?"

Ritsu bit his lip. Masamune was drawn to that. He leaned down to capture his lip with his own teeth. Ritsu let out another gasp.

Masamune wasted no time as he kissed him again, deeper, harder, softer, gently. Ritsu was soon begging for more.

After a few minutes of kissing, Masamune leans back, his eyes black with emotion. "You finally looked at me," He whispered.

Ritsu stiffened, his cheeks burning. His gaze instantly moved to the side.

This didn't faze Masamune. He engulfed Ritsu in his arms, his smile small. "Do you really think you can do this alone? I know about the memories, my Love. What I don't understand is why you would run away from me."

Ritsu's body grew more ridged. He knew? How? He tried so hard to hide it, how did Masamune find out!?

"You don't have to go through this alone. I already called Yuu, he'll be here tomorrow to seal you're memories away."

...What can he say to that? In a way he was mad that Masamune would do this. He wanted to do this on his own, to prove to himself that he could handle this, that he could beat this. He supposed it was a matter of pride. Yet at the same time he was relieved. He wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. He would finally have peace.

Dizziness swarm in his head, the emotions were too much to handle.

What if it doesn't work though? What if something goes wrong? He shouldn't get his hopes up. He tried so many methods, visited so many people who claimed they could help.

Nothing worked.

He saw Masamune's lips move but no sound emerged.

He couldn't stay, he had to leave. He was going to hurt Masamune if he finds out. Yuu might tell him.

Panicked Ritsu tried to get up but his body wont move.

"Ritsu?"

Ritsu's eyelids grew heavy. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with his body?

"Ritsu?"

He felt his body being lifted, his head rolling to the side.

Maybe it was the blood loss? That man did take a lot and then Masamune took some...and before that he wasn't eating much...

Darkness was claiming him.

He was scared. This darkness was familiar. He dealt with this two years ago.

When that hand was dragging him down deeper in the water...drowning him.

The last thing he saw was Masamune's panic filled eyes. "Ritsu!"

Ritsu lost consciousness.


	4. His pain, My pain

The pain in his head returned again. This time it was accompanied by a loud ringing noise.

Ritsu easily drew up walls to ignore the pain. He knew what to do; he had days of practice with it. Once the walls were up Ritsu conjured a door, one that lead to the pain. He gripped the door handle and opened the door slightly ajar.

One memory rushed forth, instantly his head started to hurt, but not as much as it did before.

Ritsu analyzed the memory. Accepting what had happened that day.

He killed a man. His first kill. He shuddered but let his mind relax as he concluded with himself that he was a bad man who wanted to kill his friends and himself. It was self-defense.

He knew these were excuses, maybe lies. But he was a coward. He wanted to get rid of the memories torturing his mind by any means necessary, but of course the memories would always fight back. It was like they were alive and they refused to be beaten to the corner. Soon the memory became bearable to bare, the headache leaving in a rush. Ritsu breathed a sigh of relief.

This took hours, days, or weeks for the memories to be analyzed like this. He was getting better at it but with each memory fixed the others became harder, some having no way to be fixed. He had to research more of the mind. Hopefully Sebastian could find more psychology books for him to read.

Ritsu looked up from his musings. Where was he? He looked around the lit room with a confused frown. An apartment room? He was standing in a small living room; a long book shelf was resting against the window, a small couch with a coffee table, and next to him was the entrance to the kitchen.

Ritsu looked down at himself to see that he was wearing a long navy coat with a white scarf, and a suitcase in hand.

He...he just got out of work. Ritsu realized. That's right. He worked at Marukawa Publishing. An editor. His dream.

Ritsu turned to his left to see a small mirror hanging on the wall. He looked...sane. He opened his mouth to see perfect strait white teeth.

No fangs.

Ritsu blinked. Fangs? Like in a vampire? He laughed, was he going crazy? Maybe it was the book he just read. Ritsu shrugged as he took off his coat and put down his suit case.

He should visit his foster parents soon. He hasn't seen them...

In forever it seemed. He felt guilty. He'd been so busy at work that he hasn't seen them in months. Luckily Hell week had already passed and he could visit them this weekend.

Smiling at the plan, he made his way over to the kitchen to prepare a small meal. Maybe some good ramen would do well.

As he entered the kitchen he noticed two coffee mugs in the sink. It made him smile as he remembered that his lover Takano Masamune slept over last night. Sadly he was still as work since he was behind in paperwork. He said he would join him later...

Ritsu sighed in happiness. He met Masamune when they were teenagers. They met at high school and Ritsu had fallen helplessly in love. Later he accidently voiced out his love for him and surprisingly Masamune had agreed to go out with him. Though later, out of a misunderstanding, Ritsu had fled with his heart broken and left to England. Ten years passed and he was once again reunited with Masamune when he started working at Marukawa.

Ritsu chuckled at himself as it took a whole year for him to finally accept the fact that he was still helplessly in love with Takano Masamune.

Soon they started going out again and Ritsu was never so happy in his life.

Ritsu smiled and turned toward the living room, all thoughts of food gone.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

His eyes widened.

"Yuu!?"

Yuu grinned as he stood at the entrance of the kitchen, his hands in his pockets. "So this is your safe heaven." He mused as he looked around the kitchen with amusement. "So simple...You know most people have mansions and gold surrounding them but you are simple."

Ritsu frowned. "What?" Wait...what was Yuu doing here? He wasn't supposed to be here! Ritsu cringed as his head started to hurt. The walls were falling slowly.

"Safe Heaven. That's what I call where you are right now. You are in a part of your mind where you can escape reality." Yuu explained. "Your Safe Heaven is fulfilling your dreams of being an Editor."

"Wh-What are you talking about? Why are you here?" This was...confusing. Everything that came out of Yuu's mouth was confusing, as if he couldn't grasp his words right. Nothing made sense. Ritsu griped his head as his headache increased. Damn it! He had to concentrate.

"Ah, your mind is in conflict right now...I can feel it. Takano called me and told me about your condition. You mind is in a cluster fuck."

Ritsu blinked at Yuu's choice of words. "What?"

"It's heavily damaged Onodera. Honestly. You should have told me about this sooner. Do you have any idea how messed up your mind is right now? Even your safe heaven is getting affected by it." Yuu glanced at the walls. True to his word, the walls were changing random colors, the floor was breaking apart.

Ritsu could only stare dumbly at Yuu. Masamune? He was here?

"No Takano's not here. I'm in your mind Ritsu." Yuu answered.

"Why?" His voice came out strangled. He ignored everything that was happening around him and focused on the fangs in Yuu's mouth. Reality was crashing down on him once more, reminding him of what he was supposed to do.

The walls were falling faster.

Yuu sighed. "You can't think strait. The strains already getting to you. This isn't good..."

"Yuu...What the hell are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell Takano that he was the cause of the most violent memories?"

Ritsu froze, his heartbeat increasing. "You didn't tell him...did you?" **Please...no. Yuu, please tell me you didn't tell him...**

Yuu didn't say anything at first. He looked lost in thought.

"Yuu!" Ritsu screamed at him which startled the man. "Did. You. Tell. Masamune?"

"...yes."

Ritsu closed his eyes and slumped into the ground. Slowly the walls around them started to melt away and darkness replaced their surroundings. Masamune knew...he knew...

Ritsu clutched his chest as a sharp pain pierced his heart. He didn't want Masamune to know. He knew Masamune, knew that Masamune would do anything in his power to take Ritsu's pain away. He was awed by how much Masamune loved him but he had also noticed how much it pained him.

Masamune would do anything for him.

And that's what Ritsu was afraid of.

Yuu looked around with unease. "Hey...control yourself."

"Why did you tell him?" Ritsu glared at Yuu.

Yuu was startled at the hard tone and the glare aimed his way. This...this was not Onodera. Something was seriously wrong with him. "He needed to know." He said slowly.

"No he didn't!" Ritsu crouched down as if ready to attack Yuu. An unhuman snarl escaped his lips furthering startling Yuu. Who was this man? Where was Onodera? Was the effects on his mind changing him to something else?

Alarmed, Yuu quickly disappeared and retreated to his own body.

**-Takano**

Masamune jumped up from his seat in surprise as Yuu's head suddenly snapped up, his breathing hard, and eyes wide with fright.

"What happened?" Masamune asked quickly.

Yuu winced. "Something's wrong with him. The memories are putting too much strain on him." Yuu massaged his temples. "It's disastrous in there." Yuu stood up from his chair and paced around the room.

"Couldn't you lock them up?" Masamune went to Ritsu, who was sleeping soundly in his bed, and caressed his cheek softly. He couldn't keep the smile off his face when Ritsu murmured his name quietly. He leaned down to kiss his lips gently, the brief contact sent shivers down his spine. Never, not even in a million years, would he grow tired of watching Ritsu sleep. He looked so peaceful, so cute.

Yuu shook his head. "They're all over the place. Always shifting and turning. I can't grasp them all anymore."

Masamune's eyes wondered over to the distressed male. "So what do you suggest we do?"

"There is nothing I can do Takano." Yuu said sadly. "I have no idea how Onodera is handling all this on his own. He seemed fine until I showed up and messed with his concentration."

Masamune glanced back to Ritsu with a soft smile. "He's stubborn."

Yuu frowned as turmoil ran through him. Masamune had no idea how much pain Ritsu was in and he didn't want to distress the big male but... "...Maybe that's part of it..."

Masamune turned around sharply at Yuu's odd tone. "What are you not telling me?" He snarled.

Yuu automatically stepped back, his head bowing. No matter what, Masamune was a dominate male who everyone respected and envied. He was a fearless leader who showed no emotion in everything he did. Well except for his Ritsu. That was his only weakness. "...He's...different."

Masamune scowled at him. "Of course he's different, going through all this-"

"That's not what I meant Takano. His personality. He's..." Yuu scowled. "How do I put it in words?" Yuu ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "He's not himself. He's not your precious little Ritsu anymore. He's more...wary...untrusting..."

Masamune rolled his eyes. "Not making any sense."

"Exactly! None of what Onodera is makes sense anymore Takano. I can't tell what's going on or what the hell Onodera is doing. In the state that Onodera is now he should be going crazy like a new-born."

"But he's not. He's going to be fine. We should be there to help him."

Yuu groaned loudly. How the hell was he going to tell Masamune without getting killed? He had to tell him... "Takano...Onodera...is in pain. These memories are changing him. Not for the better. We need to give him space, especially from you."

Takano flinched. Learning that he was the cause of Ritsu's worst episodes killed him. He didn't want to hurt his Ritsu but he didn't want to be parted from him either. It explained why he was avoiding him...

Takano sat down on his chair and dragged his hands across his face. A wary expression appeared. What was he going to do? How could he help his Mate? He would do anything, even give up his life, to ensure that Ritsu would live and laugh like he used to before all of this.

He knew it was pathetic of him to feel this way but he was addicted to his little mate. Going days without him was sheer torture.

Masamune glanced at Ritsu, this time really paying attention to the circles under his eyes and how pale he looked.

"...What do you suggest we do?" Masamune croaked out.

Yuu looked at Masamune with pity. "Send him back with his grandfather."

Takano scowled. "I'll never see him again! It was a blessing that his butler came to tell me but Suoh would kill me first than let me see Ritsu or even take him back!"

"It's better than to see him like this, no?"

Takano winced.

Take him back to Suoh and possibly never see him again?

Takano looked at Ritsu.

...


End file.
